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Expressing Emotions

June 27, 2013 Leave a comment

(Written not long after To Feel Again)

As I mentioned before, I am having to learn how to feel again.

For me, the first step is really learning to know when I am feeling something. When something is actually a problem for me. I have absolutely no problem (generally) saying when I am having positive emotions. It’s the negative ones that are confusing. Maybe it’s just easier to explain the positives than the negatives.The second step is to learn *what* the emotion I am feeling is. Figuring out how to label it, what word actually is what I am feeling. The third step is to learn to express what I am feeling. That’s something I want to learn to do to myself. There are some emotions that you don’t need to express to others, but that you need to take to God. Others might need to be explained to someone else. So, it’s time to learn how to do that. This one is also not easy for me, because I would rather shoulder my own feelings than shove them off on someone else.

The problem with identifying that something is causing me an issue is that most of the time, something will just feel a bit “off” and I won’t know what exactly it is. Other times, it is very obvious what is affecting me.

Generally, I won’t know what exactly it is that I am feeling. Figuring out how to label it, if it’s not something huge, is an issue for me. The problem is, unless you can label what the issue is, you can’t fix it.

Learning to express what I am feeling is the hardest thing ever. In words anyway. I think I generally express my emotions in non-verbal ways. That’s my best way of communication. When I have to explain something or talk through something, I hit a wall. I think there are several reasons for this. One is, I don’t want to give my feelings to someone else to deal with. I would rather help them work through theirs. I’m afraid of how my feelings will affect someone else. Another reason is that I don’t always know how to explain my feelings to myself, so how in the world do you explain them to someone else. Emotional perfectionism… I don’t feel like I SHOULD have some of the feelings that I feel. I think is SHOULD be in control of them. I’m afraid of being vulnerable. Of being hurt again. I generally don’t share my thoughts with people either. Perhaps in both cases I’m afraid of rejection or belittlement. Maybe I’m not confident in what I think and feel. I generally don’t mention my feelings unless someone will ask… and keep pushing when I try to give them a “normal” answer. Some of it could be I don’t want to let someone know that they have hurt me.

I find that it is easier for me if I write what I am feeling instead of talk it out with someone. It also is an opportunity for me to take it to God and give it to Him rather than worry anyone else with it. The thing is, there are some people that you really do need to talk to. People that you need to be comfortable talking to. People that need to know what is going on no matter how hard it is to explain.

It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to show emotion. It’s ok to be vulnerable… to the right people.

“Resolve to express your emotions as you have them. Emotions must be expressed. You can either express them as you have them, or you can put a lot of energy into repressing them and just wind up having to deal with a more powerful version of your emotions later.”

Best Tutor Ever

April 4, 2013 Leave a comment

Once upon a time there was a girl who’s greatest bane seemed to be Algebra. After several years of being defeated by it, a determined adventure was started to make it through to the end. It was an adventure that wasn’t taken alone as a tutor came along side the student and worked for three years (with only one summer off) to accomplish that goal. Algebra 1/2, 1, 2, Geometry and some Trig. were all conquered. After all of that, there came a day when she stepped out of the home that she entered so many times and knew that she wouldn’t be returning for any more adventuring classes. The battle was won.

For anyone who is wondering, my math tutor is the best tutor. ever. And a great traveling companion, friend, and mentor.

Usefulness

March 17, 2013 Leave a comment

“Have you ever considered the possibility that your limitations and your handicaps may prove to be the key to your usefulness in your service of the Lord Jesus Christ?” – Alistair Begg

“Samuel Wilks in the 18th century says, ‘A Christian never falls asleep in the fire or in the water, but grows drowsy in the sunshine.'”

Listen to this talk to students here: http://www.truthforlife.org/resources/sermon/limitations-key-usefulness/

How to Choose to Not Be Offended

December 27, 2012 Leave a comment

This is an excellent post on How to Choose to Not be Offended by Jeremy Statton

“In the same way that we choose to be offended, we can also choose to not be offended…”

Categories: Encouragement, Life

The influence of home

November 21, 2012 Leave a comment
The Influence of Home
(Timothy Shay Arthur, “The Home Mission” 1853)

“Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it!” Proverbs 22:6

If it were possible to trace back to their beginnings, in each individual, those good or evil impulses which have become ruling affections–in most cases the origin would not be found until we had reached the home of childhood. Here it is that impressions are made, which become as enduring as existence itself. But the influence of home is not beneficial or baneful in early years alone. Wherever a home exists, there will be found the nursery of all that is excellent in social or civil life–or of all that is deformed.

Every man and woman we meet in society, exhibit, in unmistakable characters–the quality of their homes. The wife, the husband, the children–bear with them daily a portion of the spirit pervading the little circle from which they have come forth. If the sun shines there–a light will be on their countenances; but shadows–if clouds are in the sky of home.

If there is disorder, defect of principle, discord among the members, neglect of duty, and absence of kind attentions–then the sphere of those who constitute that home, can hardly be beneficial. They will add little to the common stock of good in the social life around them. We need not say how different will be the influence of those whose home-circle is pervaded by higher, purer, and truer principles.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it!” Proverbs 22:6

Categories: Life Tags:

I would rather be…

November 15, 2012 Leave a comment

‎”I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, been born in God’s thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.” – George McDonald

Story

November 13, 2012 Leave a comment

– A post that has been in the works for quite some time – 

“If we despise the day of small beginnings, we despise God’s plan for the universe.” – Doug Wilson

 

Stories. They are beautiful things. I love reading stories. I love listening to stories. I know I am part of a story. The hardest part of stories is not knowing the ending when some trouble comes up. When reading, it is easy because you can continue to flip the pages, reading quickly to learn what happens next… to find out what the ending is. But being in the middle of a story and not being able to continue to flip the pages quickly to learn what happens, how the story ends, but to watch the ink as it is put on the page, one line at a time and slowly the page unfurls… that is hard. Someday, being able to read the story will be great… knowing the end or being able to race to it. Today isn’t that day. Today is a day of patience and a day of trust. Today is a day of letting go and a day of submission. Today is a day of peace and a day of joy. Today is a hard day, but, at the same time, an easy day. Somedays it would be nice to be able to race to the end, but then, what would be the point? It would be done with. It would be over. You are living a story and it is beautiful. You won’t know what comes next, but you know the One that is writing the story.

“Wherever Jesus may lead us, He goes before us. If we know not where we go, we know with whom we go…. The journey may be long, but His everlasting arms will carry us to the end.” – C.H. Spurgeon

 

Every story must have its troubles, otherwise it would not be a story. What is past is done. Once it is confessed and forgiven, it is truly past. The only thing you can focus on at this point is what you are to be doing right now. Often at Appleseed events I am telling people what one wise instructor told me. “Leave the last shot, you can’t change it. Make the next shot count. Don’t let the last one psych you out. Focus on taking the next one correctly. You can’t affect the last shot, but you can put the next one right where you want it.” I hadn’t really thought about it except for in Appleseed terms, but it is true of life.

God is the Master Story Writer/Teller. His timing is perfect. Everything he includes in your story has a purpose, it just isn’t always obvious what that purpose is. You are a child of God and He will give you His best for what you need. The story is in his hands. He knows the situations that you will be in long before you were even thought of on earth. God writes amazing stories, full of joy and sorrow, harmony and conflict, light and dark. If there was no sorrow, no pain, no conflict, no dark… there would be no story. There would be no contrast.

“God’s triumphs are cleverly disguised as disasters.” – Doug Wilson

“We wouldn’t choose the story that God tells in our lives, but God knows better. He weaves the dark shadows into our stories so that the light of His grace and mercy shines brighter.” – Toby Sumpter

“Your past does not hold you. Your failures do not imprison you. Your weakness cannot hold you back, because Jesus has made you right with God.” – Toby Sumpter

 

I think one of the hardest things is when you come to the end of a particular chapter. You don’t know where you are going from here. You don’t know if paths crossed for a time or for a lifetime. You don’t know what the conclusion of this chapter will be or the beginning of the next. But you have to trust that God knows the desires of your heart and that if it is His will, in your best interest, those desires will be filled. However, you also have to trust that if your desires are not in accord with His will, your desires will be shaped to His will. They will be changed.

There are some days when I get impatient and others when patience comes a lot easier. I am learning. Each story happens one line at a time and there’s no sense in trying to flip through the pages of life just to see what comes next. It’s short enough as it is! Like Pastor Wilson said in that last week’s sermon, “We have to trust. It’s up to the Lord of the story.” Some days trusting the Master Storywriter is easy, other days it’s hard. Welcome to life. 😉;) One nice thing is that peace follows closely on the heels of trust.

If we say we trust God, then we must trust him. No matter how hard or frustrating it is. We serve the One who sees all ends. His plan is extraordinary. I won’t pretend to understand it all, because I can’t. But I can have confidence that He knows what He’s doing and it will be very good.

“To get where we are going, we have to do a lot more dying, a lot more going into the ground, a lot more giving ourselves away. … Think like a seed. … It is to go in the ground and die, expecting great things to result from it.” – Doug Wilson

 

Philippians 1:6 “… Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ…”

1 Peter 1:6 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that parishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”

 

Categories: Life