Archive for June, 2013

Expressing Emotions

June 27, 2013 Leave a comment

(Written not long after To Feel Again)

As I mentioned before, I am having to learn how to feel again.

For me, the first step is really learning to know when I am feeling something. When something is actually a problem for me. I have absolutely no problem (generally) saying when I am having positive emotions. It’s the negative ones that are confusing. Maybe it’s just easier to explain the positives than the negatives.The second step is to learn *what* the emotion I am feeling is. Figuring out how to label it, what word actually is what I am feeling. The third step is to learn to express what I am feeling. That’s something I want to learn to do to myself. There are some emotions that you don’t need to express to others, but that you need to take to God. Others might need to be explained to someone else. So, it’s time to learn how to do that. This one is also not easy for me, because I would rather shoulder my own feelings than shove them off on someone else.

The problem with identifying that something is causing me an issue is that most of the time, something will just feel a bit “off” and I won’t know what exactly it is. Other times, it is very obvious what is affecting me.

Generally, I won’t know what exactly it is that I am feeling. Figuring out how to label it, if it’s not something huge, is an issue for me. The problem is, unless you can label what the issue is, you can’t fix it.

Learning to express what I am feeling is the hardest thing ever. In words anyway. I think I generally express my emotions in non-verbal ways. That’s my best way of communication. When I have to explain something or talk through something, I hit a wall. I think there are several reasons for this. One is, I don’t want to give my feelings to someone else to deal with. I would rather help them work through theirs. I’m afraid of how my feelings will affect someone else. Another reason is that I don’t always know how to explain my feelings to myself, so how in the world do you explain them to someone else. Emotional perfectionism… I don’t feel like I SHOULD have some of the feelings that I feel. I think is SHOULD be in control of them. I’m afraid of being vulnerable. Of being hurt again. I generally don’t share my thoughts with people either. Perhaps in both cases I’m afraid of rejection or belittlement. Maybe I’m not confident in what I think and feel. I generally don’t mention my feelings unless someone will ask… and keep pushing when I try to give them a “normal” answer. Some of it could be I don’t want to let someone know that they have hurt me.

I find that it is easier for me if I write what I am feeling instead of talk it out with someone. It also is an opportunity for me to take it to God and give it to Him rather than worry anyone else with it. The thing is, there are some people that you really do need to talk to. People that you need to be comfortable talking to. People that need to know what is going on no matter how hard it is to explain.

It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to show emotion. It’s ok to be vulnerable… to the right people.

“Resolve to express your emotions as you have them. Emotions must be expressed. You can either express them as you have them, or you can put a lot of energy into repressing them and just wind up having to deal with a more powerful version of your emotions later.”


Your signature please!

June 26, 2013 Leave a comment

(From March 23, 2012)

Dear unsaved friend,
Could you please read the following carefully, and then sign it–if you agree to it.

I am resolved to persevere in sin, and follow the maxims and customs of those around me–though it costs me the loss of my soul, and exposes me to everlasting damnation.

I am resolved to reject the Son of God–I will not embrace Him as my Savior, or have Him reign over me. I am resolved that I will not accept the pardon which God presents to me in the gospel, though it cost Jesus His life to procure it–and I know I must eternally perish without it. I am determined not to submit to God’s way of salvation, and I consent to be lost forever! I have made up my mind, that I will never consent to receive a free salvation by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ–I will not have it!

I am resolved . . .
to reject God’s message,
to dare His justice,
to defy His power,
to refuse His mercy,
to brave His threatened wrath, and
to harden myself against all His invitations, expostulations, exhortations, and promises!

I am resolved that I will not . . .
bow to His authority,
yield to His entreaties,
believe on His Son,
repent of my sins,
love His name,
or obey His precepts!

I am determined that there shall never be joy in Heaven among the angels of God–on account of my conversion.

I will never . . .
desert the ranks of Satan,
give up my sinful practices,
ask for mercy at God’s hands,
or take up my cross and follow Christ!

I am resolved . . .
to keep on in my old wicked course,
to persevere in my present sinful path,
to associate with my carnal companions–
and if it secures my eternal damnation–then let it do so!

I will not receive salvation on God’s terms,
I will not stoop to be saved by grace alone,
I will not take the yoke of Christ upon me, and engage to be His subject and servant–even though Heaven and all the glories of eternity would be secured by it.

If I cannot escape the wrath of God–but by faith, repentance, and holiness–why, I am determined go to Hell, for I am resolved not to yield to any such terms!

It is of no use for the preacher to spend His breath upon me! My mind is made up, I will be my own master, I will take my own course! No one has any right to interfere with me–for I shall injure no one but myself!

I have no objection to going to church, or to attending to some religious forms–but to give my heart to God, to be crucified to the present world, and to make God’s glory the end of life–will never do for me; therefore I gladly take the consequences.

If this is required of those who would be true Christians–then you must stop urging me–for I will not yield! You must stop all attempts to convert me, for my mind is made up! I have heard hundreds of sermons, I have read the Bible myself–but I have hardened myself against the whole, and I am not going to yield now!

Tell me no more of the Savior’s love,
tell me no more of the pleasures of holiness,
tell me no more of the terrors of death,
tell me no more of the dreadful judgment,
tell me no more of the joys of Heaven,
tell me no more of the agonies of Hell–
for you will never induce me to yield myself unto God, and seek the salvation of my soul. For my mind is made up, and my daily conduct is enough to convince you of it, if anything would. I am resolved not to yield–let the consequences be what they may!

I will go on just as I have done!

I will not be Christ’s servant!

I will not be God’s child!

I will obey only Satan!

I will follow the course of this evil world!

I will serve my lusts and pleasures!

In proof thereof, witness my signature, ____________.

Will you now sign your name?

Will you now solemnly put your seal to this statement?

Why are you so afraid?

Do not your actions speak louder than your words? Is not your daily practice stronger proof–than just putting your name to a statement once? If you do not say the above in words–yet if you do so in your actions–then where is the difference? Does not God read the language of your life? If you say it in your daily practice–then why not boldly take the pen and openly sign your name?

Soon the judgment shall be set, and the books shall be opened–and your criminality and folly shall be published before assembled worlds!

Well, will you sign the above? Why not? Is it true of you–or is it not?

(by James Smith)